Out of Love
by Orange sweetness
Summary: mia has to take her sister's children. very au. new chapter five. r&r.
1. wreck

Usually people begin their stories from the beginning but my story it has to be told out of order and out of love. That seems to be the one thing that I just can't grasp; love. What kind of love do I want anyway? It seems as I've always strived for attention, the love of the people, but know that I know my story I don't think that's what I was looking for at all. Once you hear the full story you'll know exactly what happened and what I was truly looking for.

In all the confusion of the mid-day that California carries none is more confusing than a child in a fight with her mother. Sure it happens in most places but not in the gated communities of Genovia. There everyone is all happy and polite not trying to pick a fight. Once I left Genovia I felt clarity. I saw the restrictions and the life I could never have. I guess I had the classic syndrome of wanting the grass on the other side but for my case the grass truly was greener.

And it's not like I was the only one in my family that left Genovia for America yet I'm the only one that my parents have a problem with it. And it's not like my mother doesn't wish she could live in New York. She still wishes she could paint and act crazy and be sleeping with my algebra teacher (just kidding my mother would never do that). Is it really my fault that I actually did something and left?

It's not like Genovia actually needed me. I was third in line and the actual chance that'd I'd be crowned is like zilch. I'd much rather be here making a career for myself. Sure modeling isn't the thing that I want to be doing all my life but it gives me the opportunity to have a life separated from my royal heritage.

And sure I left suddenly but what was I expected to do? Ask parliament? GENOVIA DIDN'T NEED ME! I was the royal they forgot about (until I started to revolt). My mother barely even talked to me. She was always with Stephanie or Charles. Even after Stephanie got married she found a way out of having any influence in my life. I've often thought what'd it be like to have been the first born and my mom and dad would have stopped after that then my mother would have left for what she really wanted, New York, and I wouldn't find out I was a princess until I had to take over for one reason or another then my mother would have an affair with my algebra teacher and have his child then they get married and I could fall for my best friend's brother who I wouldn't know liked me then he'd tell me and I wouldn't believe him but he'd make me believe and then we'd life happily ever after. That is until I had to go off to Genovia to rule. But yeah pretty happy.

All of this, plus the fact that my mother never approved of my whole modeling thing, gave me a strange felling when she actually called.

"Mia," I heard her voice quiver, "I know you have an urge to hang up but please don't. Your father and I have some very disturbing… news. Stephanie," she sobbed heavily. _Will you give me the phone? _I heard my snotty grandmere say.

"Mia, with my greatest apologies, I just wanted to tell you because this blubbering thing that your mother-"

"Grandmere," I said interrupting her, "Can you just come out with it. I'm busy."

"Oh right." She liked the fact that I was a model, I actually think I'm her favorite grandchild because I'm double famous. "I don't want to keep you. By the way how is that wonderful boyfriend of yours?"

"We're engaged," I said shortly. Just because she likes me doesn't mean I have to like her.

"Wow, engaged. Did you hear that Philippe? They're engaged! Congratulations, Mia. We do need to start planning dear. Lots to do engagement party, wedding, bachelorette party,-" I heard a struggle for the phone _Mother give me the phone!_

"Mia, this is your father. Congratulations of course. We find this a time of some urgency. Your sister and Taylor have," he stopped for a second taking a deep breath, "they have got in a wreck. I don't mean to alarm you but, it's quite serious." I slide down the wall felling as if I was going to faint. "She wants you in Chicago. We are sending the jet. It should arrive at around 2 I believe. It's about 12 there right?"

"Yeah," I said my throat raspy. I felt my head clog. Everything was overwhelming me now. I tried to dissect it. Wreck. It repeated in my head. Wreck. How could this happen? Wreck. I didn't even like the word. Wreck. It sounded like metal and plastic shoved into my mouth not being able to breath but having to keep it in there. Wreck

"Well that should give you time. And Mia, I'm sorry about everything that has happened." Take it to my politically correct father to not be able to say what happened just 6 months ago.

"Bye Dad."

"I love you Mia."

"I love you too Dad." And he hung up. The dial tone was in my ear and a wreck in my mouth. Wreck. Wreck. Wreck.


	2. they

I traced the surface of my ring. Her's was similar. It was the same type of silver with the engraving. It had a different rock in it, her's being more expensive. Mine was slightly more perfect for me but her's was perfect for her. The pearl in mine stood proud and classic while her diamond stood bold and attention grabbing, much like her.

You know when people say that when they are about to die their life's flash before their eyes? Now that I knew what was happening to Stephanie her's was flashing in my eyes. Every important event that had occurred; everything she tried to get away with. EVERYTHING. I was sort of her partner in crime only on a smaller scale. I was the one who could keep the secrets, who she could recall all of her wonderful adventures to and not have to worry about me telling anyone.

She was the type of girl you had to love. She was just that perfect. I remember the first time I thought she was perfect. I was about 5 so it was about the time when she got married. I was laying in bed with her after I woke up with a nightmare. Her long blonde hair curled with perfection. Her long fingers would trace the curve of my back bone as she'd sing a song slowly. By that time she had her ring and she was ready to marry Taylor.

The wedding was perfect with all the decent pink roses that could be found in south Europe. Stephanie wore a Verra Wang dress that was designed exclusively for her. She had the Wedding Look few could achieve, the perfect and glowing without really trying too hard.

Her first pregnancy was something of gigantic proportions just because she and Taylor were Europe's perfect couple. She was pleasantly plump and her cheeks were always a soft pink like you always want your mother or nanny to have. Everyone wanted them to have a happy life together, one that would last forever. No one had expected this to happen.

Still here I am, on the plane gripping onto the armrest trying to calm myself. Lars says everything is going to be okay but what does he know? He was trained in a desert for heaven's sake. He doesn't know what it's like to not know what's going to happen because it's his job to know what's going to happen at all times.

I keep trying to think of something besides the bits of metal in my mouth. I thought of the roses surrounding me. I thought of the man standing next to the window that led to the fire escape. Then me dropping my keys and my mouth falling open. "This is for you Miss." He handed me an envelope with fancy writing on it.

Inside the card read, "Every rose stands for every time my heart beats for you." I looked around the room again. Every surface was covered with roses. There were even roses in the sink and on the floor only a trail leading to the window from the door was left.

"Up there, Miss," the man in the tux said pointing upwards. I climbed through the window and one memory stuck in my head. I was sitting on the ledge of a new club that had a roof top rented out for a party. I just let my feet dangle as I looked out on all the little people down bellow. "You aren't thinking of jumping are you?" "No," I said turning and facing the person. He looked down at me his blonde hair in his eyes. "You know I read this story once where a guy fell in love with a girl who was about to commit suicide and he stopped her but then they got in an ugly fight and she tried to sue him." I laughed and stood, "I wasn't going to jump. Just thinking." He grabbed my arm to steady me as I tripped on a randomly placed plant. "Just thinking of jumping or just thinking?" "Just thinking," I replied with a smile. "Penny for your thoughts." "How about a dance?" I asked nodding the dance floor. "Sure." "I was thinking about the people down on the street." "What about them?" he asked in true wonderment. "If I'll ever meet them and if I'll ever make a difference in there lifes." "I have a theory," he started, "that every person in the world has some kind of impact on everyone else. No matter how far apart they may seem, everyone has some connection to each other." "Wow, I never thought of that." "I guess I have too much time on my hands." "Maybe, but maybe that's your purpose. You're supposed to think of these things." "Or maybe," he joked, "I'm supposed to fall in love with a girl who was thinking about people down there."

As I finally made it to the roof I saw him standing there all perfect and polished. He looked tanner than ever because of the month he spent in Mexico helping build houses with high school students. He had a single rose in his hand that had a ring around it that was shining in the sun. He bent down on one knee as I reached him, "Will you Amelia Thermopolis marry me?" I felt tears rise in my eyes as I began to nod my head unable to speak. Then he began to twirl me around.

Now my eyes are filled with other tears. Tears that I can't quite stop yet can't get them out. All the memories of yesterday are cleared from my mind as I think of why I'm on the private jet that I was so used to being in. I've gotten off the wreck thing though but only because I've moved onto a new word, they. They as in both of them. They as in Stephanie and Taylor. They as in no one to go to every play and every sporting event. They as in the perfect European couple. They as in the people who I've always looked up to. They.


	3. Faith

I ran through the hospital. My grandmother would have shot me, _Women don't run they rush_. Well I was defiantly running, probably at a recording breaking speed. My grandmother would have been appalled. But still I ran.

I held onto the doorknob for a few seconds before turning it. I held my breath as I saw my sister and her husband lying there. Neither were awake and neither looked like they used to. Stephanie's once blond hair was dyed red with blood. Her face with slightly distorted from the cuts where the glass must have hit her face. She had multiple machines she was hooked up to multiple machines. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I walked over to Steph. I sat in the chair next to her and looked in her face, a face that was once so perfect and understanding.

I was in the room for a few minutes before a man walked in. I semi-remember him from when I came to Chicago when Mary was born. "Hi, um I'm not sure you remember me, I'm Taylor's brother, Stanley, and um their lawyer." He sat next to me and ran his fingers through his hair. "Last month they updated their will. They wanted to make you the legal guardian of their children. They have trust funds set up and money for you and the kids to live on. Do you accept this responsibility?"

I looked at him for a few moments before nodding my head. "I'm sorry about not getting in touch with you sooner about this but no one thought that this could happen. I thought I had more time," he said before he had tears stream down his face.

"We all thought we had more time," I whispered holding his hand in my own. Our tears combined on our hands as a nurse came in.

"Are you ready?" Stanley slightly nodded his head and then he looked away. I averted my eyes as well and before I knew it all of the machines were turned off and we were left in silence.

The silence rang through my ears louder then anything I had ever heard. I pressed a hand onto my chest making sure my own heart was beating. I felt my hands shake as Stanley gave me a pen and paper to sign saying I'd take full custody of Julie, Mathew, and Mary.

"The children are in the waiting room with your families," the nurse said placing a hand on my shoulder patting me softly. I nodded again then stood slowly. My face was stained with tears as I turned toward the mirror hanging on the back of the door. My face seemed unrecognizable. I looked older somehow and more stressed out. True I was stressed out but I've never looked so stressed before.

I walked into the waiting room my feet making a clicking noise on the floor as I walked forward. "Hi Mia," my parents and grandmother greeted me. Each of them were holding one of the children that were now mine.

"Hi," I replied holding my shoulder, something I only do when I'm scared. I walked up to them and saw the lines in my mother's face and the scar above my dad's lip, which I read he had received recently from an equestrian accident, and the faux tightness of my grandmother's face.

"So," my father began, "what's going to happen with them?" he asked gesturing to the tree children.

"Um, I'm taking them. It was in their will." I touched some of Julie's hair before sitting next to her and my mother. All of the children were asleep.

"Oh, Mia I'm not sure about this. You're barely eighteen. I don't think you are ready for this type of responsibility. I'm sure Charles would be happy to take them in," Mom said shaking her head.

"They wanted me to take them," I said tears forming in the corners of my eyes again. "I'm going to take care of them. They wouldn't have given me custody unless they trusted me which they obviously do."

"But Mia it isn't fair to you. They shouldn't have asked you this-"

"I'm sure Mia can handle this," Dad said which meant the argument was over and I had won. "So, did they?"

"Yeah, they did." I ran my hands across my face making my face fell cold. "I was thinking of moving away. You know so the kids don't have to deal with this, with remembering tonight," I said in a hushed whisper.

"So you don't have to remember either," my mom said running her hand onto my knee. "Mia, you have to understand why I was upset with you. I never had a part in your life and whenever I decided to have a part you move away. It's okay that you're probably still mad at me but I had to let you know."

"Yeah Mom I understand." And even though I didn't I knew I just had to say it to get over the past and move on. And even though I didn't know what was going to happen I knew that if I wasn't going to be able to handle it that Stephanie and Taylor wouldn't have asked me to do this so I'm putting my faith in then on this one.


	4. Holding On

Whenever it's time to get over things it always fells like the time to hold them in. Whether these things are emotional or physical we all fell we must suppress or hide them, suppressing emotions, something I've become very accustom to. It's not that I don't have feeling, because I do, it's just that sometimes you feel like you have to be strong.

I remember the last time I cried. Myles, my fiancé, stood next to me. He had been holding my hand but now he was holding Mary. Mary had been crying all night and we were both awake trying to tend to her needs. It was one of the only times I got frustrated, frustrated that I was raising kids that I never thought would have been my responsibility, frustrated that Mary wasn't happy no matter what we did, and frustrated that this was how I was going to start my life with Myles. The thing that sent me over the top was the fact the hot bottle that I had just warmed up had burned my skin as I pulled it out of the microwave. I cursed and sank to the ground. Myles bent down putting his arms around me. "It's going to be alright," he kept saying slowly trying to give me some peace.

That's when I knew what I had to do. Myles didn't deserve this. He was supposed to be starting a life with me not joining in on my sister's. I was still on the floor in Myles's arms when the words slipt out. "Myles," I said tears rolling down my face, "I don't love you." Sure it had been a lie but if I told him I didn't want him to have this responsibility he would have stayed. I knew this was the only way for him to move on with his life. At first I felt his body go stiff then he rolled against the cabinets. "What?" he had asked as if it was just a problem with translation. "I don't think we should get married, I think you should move out." I hoped if I went slower he would understand. "You don't mean that." I could see tears in his eyes so I stood unable to break up with him and see him at the same time. I picked up Mary and walked to her nursery which was just five steps away from the kitchen. "I do," I keep whispering trying to convince myself that this was right, this is what I wanted. I finally said the words out loud, something Myles had expected me to say but in a totally different way.

"Hello, Earth to Mia." I looked at Lana when my eyes finally adjusted. I smiled trying to keep her mind off of what I was really thinking. She smiled back then went to her dilemma. "So as you can tell I really don't know what to do because I mean sure Gabriel has money but will he ever have time to spend with me. Besides, I really don't think I'm the marrying type, at least not yet. Not until I'm into plastic surgery but now I'm hot naturally and I want to enjoy it." I really looked at her now. Lana can be my best friend sometimes but most of the time we spend together I am just trying to get some realm of understanding of what goes through that girl's head. "What? Is that really petty?"

"Um, no," I replied holding back a laugh. I love how she thinks; it helps to keep reality away. It takes off the edge of everything. Whenever I broke up with Myles she was first to come to my side. _"He's really not that good looking you kno_w," she had said trying to make me feel better which it did. I don't know there is just something about her mind set that helps me to relax.

"I know what's on your mind," she said slowly. I knew she did; it's what's always on my mind. "Let's go out tonight." I shook my head and Lana made a face. "If not to get your mind off of things to celebrate your wonderful board results!"

"Lana," I grabbed her hand, "I don't get my boards until at least tomorrow. But I mean if you really want to go out that bad fine, I'm on board." I'll admit I really did want to go out but I couldn't tell Lana that because she would have gone crazy. Besides my hair was looking good today and I want a time to show it off. So Lana pulled me into my closet and started throwing clothes at me.

"Wear the black one," she urged over and over again. I plopped on my bed already frustrated over the whole trying on clothes and it had just been a few minutes since Lana pulled me into my room. If Lana thought I'd look good in something you better bet that I'd probably be wearing it but this time I was being difficult. It's not that I've never been out since Myles and I broke up it's just that this was different. This was to find a man, or that was my challenge from Lana at least. "What are you doing? You look wonderful in the black one."

"But," I said heading back into my closet, "I want to wear the blue one." And I did. I looked perfect not wonderful.

And I was feeling perfect as almost every guy looked at Lana and me as we walked into the club. She grabbed my hand and brought me onto the dance floor. _Women never dance alone_ Grandmere told me at a princess lesson. Well I wasn't alone. I had Lana even if she would leave me when a guy came over to dance with her. I had plenty of guys coming up to me dancing with me too so it's not like it really mattered.

"I need something to drink!" Lana yelled in my ear. Then she grabbed my arm with both of her hands and pulled me towards the bar. After we ordered our drinks and drinking them we found clarity of what these guys actually looked like; which wasn't too good. We stayed at the bar and mulled over our choices: one we could stay at the club and just have a good time by ourselves, two we could leave and go to another club, or three we could leave and go home. I voted for the third but Lana vetoed it.

"This is one of your only nights out so we are making the most of it. Besides, the only cute guy here is checking you out." Lana tilted her head back as to indicate the guy at the end of the bar who was looking my way but quickly turned away talking to one of his friends. He looked back up and when he found I was looking at him he smiled.

There must be this thing in New York that people nod in the direction they want you to go in. Honestly because I've never had so many people nod me to places before I came here. Lana does it all the time. And not just towards a location but to the dress I should wear and which guy I should pick. Now, this guy, who I've never seen in my life is nodding me to the dance floor. I looked at Lana and she did the Nod. See I wasn't kidding; I've gotten two nods within about 15 seconds of each other.

I was making my (very difficult) way to the dance floor. I had to bump and elbow half the way and jump over people the other half of the way. _Women never have to make an effort to get to a man. He should be the one working hard to greet you. _Why is Grandmere still popping up in my head? It's been a year. This shouldn't be happening. I should be able to guilt-free drink until I'm about to puke and dance with every guy. But no, Grandmere has to interfere.

But I got to the guy in seemingly one piece. He sort of looked at me for a second, head, shoulders, pause at the amble bosom (I wish), waist, hips, thighs, feet. He was good looking. He had dark hair and puppy dog brown eyes, plus muscles. Though he was sort of pale and that's usually not my type. But there was something about him, a connection maybe, or maybe it was my high blood-alcohol level. I was drawn towards him.

"Nice job back there," he teased. "Maybe you have a career in being a bouncer." Lars would have loved that (but me a bouncer. HA.) I smiled and he seemed to let out a gust of air. Then he nodded toward the back of the club by the booths which were empty. I said sure and he bowed to signify for me to go first. This was actually funny because he probably doesn't know I'm a princess and he was bowing to me like a servant or subject would. So I went and the club seemed to be more packed then before. But the guy wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned into my ear saying, "I got it this time." And it wasn't creepy or like he was trying to get in my pants it was more of a protection thing.

It felt even more like it was for protection when we got to the back and he let go (not all jerky as if he was guilty of feeling me up. He let it ease off slowly like he knew if he let go too fast I would fall straight on my face.) "Sorry, just thought I'd be better at handling that." I turned to him. In the dark he didn't look _so_ white. And since when have I been into appearance this much? Oh yeah, because if I have standards on looks I can turn people down before I get emotionally attached. But once again it felt different with him.

"I did quite alright if I do say so myself." He nodded only this time in agreement (though he was making a face that I could tell meant that he was being sarcastic.) So I hit him (_a woman does not hit she merely taps as a form of flirting). _He laughed like I told him a joke. I looked down at my hand; it did seem sort of small and unable of hurting him.

"Yes, you did fine. But think about if one of your flying elbows had actually gotten someone in the eye I don't think you would have been able to hold your own." We were both sitting at this point in the booth we had to elbow our way to. He had stopped talking and was now looking at me like he had noticed me from somewhere (probably the Marc Jacobs ad). But he was still looking at me after I had turned back from looking for Lana. It just felt that maybe in another life we knew each other, and not just because he was starring at me either but because of the buzz I had gotten in my stomach when he wrapped his arm around me and how his fingers drummed out a rhythm that I recognized but I knew it wasn't a song from the radio or anything and it was the way he seemed extra concerned about my clumsiness. Plus there was that bowing thing. How many guys bow to someone? Not too many I'm guessing, unless you're a princess

"Are you okay?" he asked waking me from my over analyzation. I nodded slowly trying not to seem too eager to answer. "Um, I'm Michael by the way." Michael? He seemed like a Michael some how. And it was nice that it wasn't Micky or Mick or Mike. The name Michael really suited him. "And this is usually where you would supply your name."

I smiled. He seemed to melt. "Mia. Nice to meet you." So maybe I still have a little princess in me but that wasn't really being a princess as much as being a human, which was okay because I'm one of those too. And all of a sudden I felt shy. When am I shy? I mean sure I can't say no to Lana but I'm not shy around guys. That's like the one thing that actually came naturally to me. Michael must have picked up on the shy thing because in a second he was coming out of the seat he was in and standing next to me holding a hand out.

"Come on, let's get out of here." I took his hand and we were out of the club.

Michael's POV

It was still cold outside. Mia's dress was a little thin. She was hands down most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. Not to mention easy to talk to. I probably blabbered for about twenty minutes about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which she only just started watching because of growing up overseas and all. She put up with it even laughing at my little jokes even if she didn't really get them. That was in the coffee house. Now we are walking around aimlessly.

Mia's little accent is really seductive. What am I talking about? Her whole being is seductive. At least to me. Even the way she sometimes looks at her feet while she walks and trips over them is seductive to me.

So maybe we weren't walking as aimlessly as I thought. Mia stopped suddenly at a tall apartment building. I pivoted trying to play it off. Mia smiled (aw, this was so cute) and seemed to look at me as if considering something. Something important. Then she pointed up and said that that was here building. I nodded and Mia leaned in. She kissed me rather softly. No tongue and defiantly no hand groping. It was just enough to make me want more. Which explains why I was sort of relieved when she asked me up.

We were walking into her apartment building when all these people were starring at us, or more at me. They were looking me up and down. Yes, I know why is this amazingly beautiful girl asking me up to her apartment? It's one for the records. But she was all shy in the elevator on the way up and she didn't look at me but rather at her feet. When I stayed on the elevator a little after her I thought she was just going to walk into her apartment and forget me but she turned around and looked up at me all slyly. I walked after her felling as shy as she did a few seconds ago and just looked at the floor.

And, okay, her apartment? Maybe the best apartment one can have. It was a penthouse with a marvelous view of New York. Mia just kind of sighed and shrugged off the little jacket that she had on. She put it down then turned to me. And I really didn't mean to do what I did next. But I can't take it back. And I don't know if I would if I could.

Mia's POV

In some bizarre alternate universe it seems I got myself a man. Well maybe not but I did get a nice one night stand story. Good, I'm such a man. I'm summing it up to having to spend too much time with my father. Yes that is it. I mean it's not really a secret that my dad is a guy's guy with all the racing and eating of red meat and drinks and betting and… (Why must I blabber on and on?)

Anyway, the point is that I slept with him. Before I'm damned as a slut I would like to put up a case. It was just in the way he kissed me when we got into the apartment. It was so familiar. Like somehow I had done this before, I had melted in his arms and he touched my soul. Some guys just do that to a person. And plus the way he was cupping my face made me fell so happy and excited and… special. I know he was only trying to get in my pants but it felt so familiar. Then he put his hands in mine and raised them in the air and by the way he was looking at them (examining really) it seemed he had the same felling I had about our special connection. He pressed his lips on one of my hands and then continued to kiss every finger. Now let us remember that we are still in my kitchen, I'm sitting on one of the stools and he is standing in between my legs. Then he looks at me. The look he gave me was oh so seductive. I leaned forward pushing him away from me a bit so I could stand. He pulled me towards him into some bizarre hug only he was kissing my head and tracing little patterns on my skin. His neck smelt so good. And from that point everything was fast. We pressed against each other. Then we wordlessly went into my bedroom; we wordlessly started pulling each other's clothes off; and we wordlessly settled into my bed.


	5. Alternate Universe

Michael's Pov

I woke up the next morning with a warm feeling in my stomach, and not to mention a warm body in my arms. My head was clogged with thoughts and every time I tried to fall asleep again I keep getting stuck in another day dream. And then I had to get to work. (I was a mechanical engineer major at Columbia then I made a robotic arm that would assist in surgeries and I fell instantly in love with the medical field. Lilly says it's because I have a God complex but honestly I just really like helping people.)

I ran a hand down her curved side then kissed her cheek. She stirred and mumbled something but didn't wake up. I was glad I hadn't woken her though; some things are better not dealt with. And this, the one night stand I would never regret, just happened to be one of them.

Mia's Pov

He was gone before I woke up the next morning. There was no note, no sign he had even been there. I really hadn't been expecting him too but still I felt a ting in my heart when he had just left.

I spent my day the way I usually spent my days, going to classes, going get grocery, and then going pick up Mary from the day care across town. Nothing eventful happened. Not.

I was in Ho's Deli, a cute store outside of Mary's school owned by a Vietnamese couple, picking up a card to send Renee for his birthday. Some girl in the next aisle was picking up things for straight from the package dinner, or so she said into the phone attached to her ear. She was blabbering and saying how she really had to cook this meal because her brother was always so depressed and this would pick him right up. She went silent for a few minutes. Maybe she was listening to something the other person was saying but I doubted it. She just seemed distracted for a brief moment leaving an opening for the other person to speak.

I walked down the card aisle and saw her for the first time. She was short, not even up to my nose if I had to guess. Her face was something I would never forget because despite its obvious beauty it was squished in an unlovely pug-like expression. Whatever the person on the other line had said made her seem unhappy. She dropped a book of hamburger helper into her basket and breathed out in disgust.

"No, Tina. She isn't his style and besides I don't think a girl is what he needs right now." She paused in front of the beverage cooler before she reached in and grabbed a V8. I couldn't help but notice the tennis shoes she wore with her business suit and stockings. _Ladies are meant to be in heals or nice flats at all times when they are not participating in an athletic competition._ How Grandmere's words were seared into my brain. They'd pop up uninvited and unwelcome.

"Sure, of course you can bring him." She seemed calmer but not cool enough, her nose was still raised in an uncomfortable looking position. I felt myself grabbing onto the edge of the display of Hostess products as I clung to her voice. It was like I'd heard her voice before, like in a dream. But it seemed more; like this was an alternate universe where I had once belonged. I had once been on the phone with her.

Soon she turned and she seemed wary when she found me looking at her. She stood still, her shoulders squared, as she quickly finished her call and shoved her phone into her purse. Her eyes seemed to cut through me. She was seeing my soul, my deepest secrets. Whether or not she felt the connection I did was unapparent.

"What do you want?" she asked. It didn't really sound rude, just like something she had said to me a million times. I couldn't help but stare at her and memorize her face. It was like I was finding a soul mate I never knew I had, I never knew I wanted.

"I, um, I'm sorry." I tried to sound normal but it didn't come out right, first because of the accent but also because she seemed to still be cutting through only this time truly examining what she found and judging every piece.

"I know you don't I?" She seemed to also be catching on. Her eyes squinted in concentration as she dared to take the first step forward. She turned her head as if to get a better view of my face that was slightly off which apparently made it so right. Suddenly, as if she had made up her mind on something she leaned back and seemed to chuckle to herself. "You look exactly like Princess Amelia. I'm sure you get that a lot though."

I didn't respond or tell her how right she was. It was weird for someone to say that I looked like her and not just say that I was her. I studied her face more but she seemed to have gotten over anything that was making her face pug-like.

"But only if she realized that she put too much make up on," she commented as she looked over her shoulder slightly distracted for a second. Then she turned back and a wicked smile was set on her face. "You know Princess Amelia is in New York right now?" I played stupid and she continued, "She's best friends with my brother's bitch ex-girlfriend." _Lana _I breathed to myself but I didn't say it loud enough for her to hear me. "Well she wasn't really a bitch in the mean sense, just that she was his bitch." She sighed and gather her short blonde hair in one had and let it go.

I wondered if she knew who I was if she would still be telling me this. Telling me my best friend, the man eater, was once whipped. Maybe that's why she was the way she was, Lana I mean. Maybe she was scared of getting hurt or something.

"That was a long time ago though," a sympathetic smile crossed her face. "My brother doesn't even look the same anymore. He lost some part of himself in Japan, I can't explain it." She seemed to be saying this all for her benefit and not mine since I didn't really under stand the whole Japan thing even though it sort of rubbed the inside of my stomach wrong. She snapped out of her trance and a smile spread across her whole face, even up into her eyes that no way resembled a pug. "I'm sorry I'm babbling. I don't even care about that so called royalty."

Again I wondered if she knew I was the royalty she said she didn't care about would she have said that. I'm sure her fear would have feed her and she wouldn't have commented on such a thing. By the look of her face I think she would have.

"I'm Lilly," she said as she moved her basket to the other arm and extended her hand. I heard her name, I understood what she said but it was like I didn't need to hear her say it. Maybe she just looked like a Lilly, it seemed more. I knew her name, I wasn't part of her present; I was part of her past and part of her future. It scared me at first, I'll be the first to admit that, but as soon as I grabbed her hand and gave a firm shake I wasn't scared. This was the life I was supposed to have.


End file.
